I’ll be honest, I’ve got a bit of writer’s block when it comes to these intros. The album artwork jokes come relatively easily — pretty low-hanging fruit — but, I mean…the intros? What’s there to joke about here? WELP, WE GOT SOME REAL GOOD ALBUM COVERS COMING! HAHA VERY FUNNY, KEEP IT COMING. I dunno. I guess this is what happens when a column about album artwork gets existential. Anyway, to the albums!
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Mizmor — Cairn
In a little under three months — basically, in the amount of time this column has existed — Mariusz Lewandowski has gone from a guy I’d never really heard of into one of my favorite artists. The way the dude can take even the brightest color palette and make it feel, just… totally despondent… is incredible. And stylistically, that’s pretty befitting for the latest addition to the Mizmor catalog!
[Bandcamp]
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Cropsy Maniac — Carnage
Someone call Al Gore — I think we found ManBearPig! He’s right behind Leather Jacket Mr. Clean who’s scaring the damsel half-to-death with his gardening shears, despite not actually seeming like he’s aiming for her. Super serial image, this one, guys.
[Bandcamp]
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Divided Multitude — Faceless Aggressor
WHAT’S UP, PUSSIES? SWOLE WIFE BEATER BRUH HERE, LEADING MY ARMY OF FACELESS ANDRONYMATONS IN SOME ACTS OF…UH…AGGRESSION. DON’T LIKE IT, BRUH? COME SAY THAT TO OUR FACES. OH WAIT, YOU CAN’T! OHHHHHHHHH!
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One Hour Hell — Voidwalker
“Uh, Mr. Stark? I don’t feel so good…”
[Bandcamp]
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Steel Snake — First Contact
Jagged-but-ultimately-harmless name font? Check. Female Silver Surfer-looking character reaching out of the cosmos? Yep, this is more or less exactly what I’d expect an album cover from a band called “Steel Snake” to look like.
[Bandcamp]
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Houkago Grind Time — Saving the World by Overloading it with Mincegore Brigade
Uh…sure, why not?
[Bandcamp]
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Anyway, that’ll do it for this week’s edition! Check back next week for more album art ridiculousness!
—Dan
