Welcome back! It’s a new month, and you know what that means: time to look back at some funnies from the old month. And fellow art criticism aficionados, let me tell you: despite being the shortest month of the year, February 2021 was absolutely stacked for ridiculous album covers. The more-than-1000 albums / singles / EPs released over the last 28 days (per Metal-Archives) yielded a “long list” of 30 albums. And man, it was difficult as shit whittling that list down to the 10 that ultimately made the cut. Do not think for a minute that the following albums are the only ones worth giggling over this month; February was a veritable treasure trove. These just happen to be the best of the best.
Anyway. Let’s take a look at ’em now, shall we?
Atomic Drop — Macho Madness
STEP INTO A CONTEMPLATIVE, WATER-COLORED ALBUM COVER OOOOOOOOOOOH YEAAAAAAAH!
(Also: Atomic Drop’s logo is terrific.)
(Also also: I love the teeny tiny record label logo in the bottom left corner that… looks vaguely like some humping is happening?)
Funigatvm — Sakrosanctus Zoonosis
If you remember wayyyyyyy back to the first edition of Cursed Imagery in June 2019, you might recall a band called Qayin Regis, whose then-new album, Doctrine, featured what I referred to as “a skeleton trying to take a shit.” This here Funigatvm feels like the logical next-stage of evolution from that proto-shit-take — right down to the actual diarrhea emerging from this, er… creature’s… scrotum / wishbone / rectum thing. Bowel movements: now with flesh, hybrid body parts and a full color palette!
Random aside: do we think there’s a reason Funigatvm turned one of it’s “u’s” into a “v” but not the other?
Rapid Strike — Just a Lie
So… full, 100%-honest disclosure here: the first thing that came to mind when I saw this album cover was “…Rard Strike?”
That’s right. The ginger babe with the flaming bazooka and the whole ass left tiddy hanging out? Right over my head. A slight question of legibility in the band’s logo? Yes. That. THAT is what I fixate on.
Indica Blues — We Are Doomed
I don’t know a thing about this band. What I do know is that this cover reminds me strongly of Sturgill Simpson’s landmark 2019 release, Sound and Fury. And reminding me of Sturgill Simpson is never a bad thing. So good job, Indica Blues!
Steel Iron — Steel Iron: The Album
This cover is more or less exactly what I’d expect from a parody band with song titles such as — I shit you not — “The Initial Countdown,” “Reironing the Steel” and “More Than a Steeling” to its name. And I, for one, freaking love everything about it.
Szary Wilk — Wrath
While his buds are off being menacing, eating people… you know, typical werewolf stuff… my dude over here on the right has big “just stepped on a stray LEGO piece” energy, and man, I can relate so hard to his struggles.
Vantage Point — Work Work Work
Edinburgh, UK, heavy metallers Vantage Point dropped a single, “Work Work Work,” this month. It looks like what you see above. This follows from the band’s previous album, “Work Work Work,” which came out in 2018, and also looks like what you see above, except the girl is in a red blouse. Their past releases have a lot of depictions of kinda mundane, everyday life stuff like this on their covers. Also, sometimes Devil stuff. But usually only one of those two possible options. That is… certainly a pendulum on which one can swing!
Nanowar of Steel — Formia
When I think of a band called, er-hem… NANOWAR OF STEEL… — which, folks, I don’t think it’s humanly possible to appreciate nearly as much as it deserves — I definitely think of a Serpico-lookin’ dude gazing wistfully down from hesher heaven at four of his oddly-attired buddies traversing a beach at sunset. What else could you think of?
Evil Singing Pandas — 海边
I didn’t realize it ’til now, but I think I’m kinda over Mariusz Lewandowski covers. Give me more random-first-grade-art-project covers, man.
Hot Zone — Plaguerizm
…I think I’m now dead.
That’ll do it for February! Again, strong, strong month for absurd album covers. What kind of ridiculousness does March have in store for us? Tune back in this time next month to see! Until then…
Keep it heavy,