Wake Up and Smell the Satan! – May 20, 2016

wake-up-and-smell-satan

Another miserable Friday dawns upon this solid rock of waste and human excrement. You continue to murder and slay each other over silly ideas. Still unaware that there is more to the world than your own pathetic opinions and misgivings. Your fear drives you into unwanted places. Deep into caverns you have made in the earth. But nothing can protect you. You will die. You will decompose. And you will be eaten by the earth that you have treated like a landfill. So what do you have to look forward to? Continue reading

Wake Up and Smell the Satan! – April 29, 2016

wake-up-and-smell-satan

Today is going to shock you. First, I “woke up” with a feeling in my “gut” that an asteroid collision with Earth is an imminent happenstance. With that in mind, it’s important to know that you’re going to die. I feel I’m doing you a service by letting you know. This way you can make arrangements to have fun in  your brief final moments upon the Earth’s surface. You will, however, likely waste them like the putrid scum of existence that you are. Continue reading

Album Review: Sweet Cobra – “Earth”

sweet cobra earth

Sweet Cobra have long bucked trends. They’ve done things exactly as they’ve wanted to do things, releasing albums at their own pace and with varying levels of heaviness. And on their new fourth album, Earth, they’ve done what everyone fears—gone soft. The 12 tracks, most around four minutes long, don’t hit as hard as before and inspire more dancing than they do head-bashing. But, don’t fret, for it’s not all bad. Sweet Cobra are a band that has the confidence and drive to do exactly what they want and make it work. Continue reading

Visions ov Hell: Sweet Cobra – “Future Ghosts”

sweet cobra future ghosts

Sweet Cobra’s fourth album, Earth, is out today on Magic Bullet Records, and frankly, it’s about time. After all, it’s been a long five years since the Chicago trio’s last album, Mercy, first graced us with its presence. And as you might infer from lead single “Future Ghosts,” the band’s made a few changes to their sound. We’ll have a full review up later in the day, but for now, let’s take a look at the video for said lead single. Continue reading

Quickies: Steel Panther plays Kimmel, Alice in Chains playing NFC Championship, and GODDAMMIT PSYCHO CALIFORNIA

It’s Friday! Time to cap off probably the busiest week we’ve ever had here at Horns Up—with some Quickies! Here’s what we missed in the metal world today:

  • It’s times like these that I hate living on the East Coast: check out the lineup for this year’s Psycho California festival. Sleep. Earth. Pallbearer. Old Man Gloom. Wo Fat. Goddammit. (That last one isn’t a band, but wouldn’t it be cool if it was??)
  • Need a nice kick in the ass to start your weekend? Check out the new Morgoth track “Black Enemy.” Oh yeah, the guys also announced a new album, Ungod, which will drop in April.
  • Alice in Chains will be performing at the halftime show of Sunday’s NFC Championship game, which is really great news if you’re actually going to be at the game! (And really “who-gives-a-fuck-they-won’t-show-a-non-Super-Bowl-halftime-show-on-TV-anyway” news if you’re not!)
  • After an eternity’s worth of development under Paramount and MTV, the film adaptation of Mötley Crüe‘s autobiography, The Dirt, is switching studios and will now be a Focus Features joint. You know, as if it’ll ever actually come to fruition anyway…
  • And finally, here’s footage of Steel Panther‘s performance on last night’s edition of Jimmy Kimmel Live:

Kinda lolarious how out-of-sync the audio is with the visuals in this YouTube upload. GOOD JOB, KIMMEL TEAM! Anyway, that’ll wrap things up for tonight. A happy long-weekend to you all!

-Dan

Live. Love. Plow. Horns Up.