RETROCUTION: Betamaxx and FM Attack team up for a “Cosmic Voyage”

So, uh, yeah… remember that little quip in my year-end metal wrap-up about Carpenter Brut and Dance with the Dead? About how the Retrocution column would need to still exist for me to feature their terrific 2022 output in it? LOL AMIRITE? Well, buddy*, I’ve got some news for you…

*I used the singular here because as with most things I write, I tend to assume that only one person will actually read this

Retrocution is, I guess, back? And what better way to reintegrate our long lost column into society than with an absolute banger of a collaboration from Betamaxx and FM Attack? Dive on in and check it out!

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CURSED IMAGERY: The Month in Album Art (January 2023)

cursed imagery

Well, I bet none of y’all had this thing coming back on your 2023 bingo cards. But yes, here we are, with the long overdue return of Cursed Imagery here at Nine Circles. It’s been entirely too long, folks. We’ve missed so much banter about so, so many albums in the last year-and-a-half-plus, and it’s high time we get back into it.

As was the case in our most recent iteration, we’ll be bringing this back as a monthly segment going forward. For as long as I can keep it going, which… as you well know, hasn’t always amounted to much over the years. BUT… in 2023, I’ve made both a verbal and financial commitment to our benevolent overlords Arch Dabo, Fenrolytic Scribe and Cliterati Underboob to get more involved with the site. And what better way to do so than to resume my favorite pastime: clowning on hilarious album artwork from around the metal world?

All that being said, January is just about done, having graced us with some tremendously bad album covers to start 2023 off, uh… right? So without further ado, let’s take a look back at some of them, shall we?

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Blood Red: Hooptober 9.0: Week The End

And we’re out, folks. Another year down, another Blood Red for the books. And there was only one film left to watch after last week, so while I did catch things like Terrifier (not my thing but so outrageous I liked it in spite of itself) and Barbarian (incredible first 40 minutes. Then bat-shit crazy for the film’s remainder, which is fun not equal to that amazing beginning) and Guillermo del Toro’s horror anthology Cabinet of Curiosities (yeah…I love it) the only thing I actually watched and reviewed for the marathon was the new Henry Selick joint, Wendell & Wild. I dug it, if didn’t outright love it for a few reasons.

As always you can read the full reviews over at Cinema Dual. In the meantime, smoke ’em if you got ’em…

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Blood Red: Hooptober 9.0: Week Six

Week 6(66). We’re so close to the end, so close in fact that technically there’s only one film left to review. I’ll figure that out later, but for this penultimate column we have some good, some bad, some surprisingly good, and some surprisingly bad. Let’s kick it off with Guillermo del Toro’s Director’s Cut of Mimic, a film I saw at the drive0in when it first came out and now find a lot to enjoy, even as it reeks of studio interference. I still don’t know what to make of Troll 2, which is most certainly not a sequel to Troll (thanks studio distribution hacks!) and despite being labeled the “Best Worst Movie” is just a terrible movie with a few fun moments. I wish I could endorse Dario Argento’s return to giallo with Dark Glasses, but sadly a lot of his preoccupations don’t translate as well now, and the style has suffered in the decades since his heyday. Deadstream, however, is very much of the moment, and I found myself delighted with the found footage horror comedy. V/H/S: Viral has some great segments but unfortunately can’t overcome its bad ones. Still – check out the “Dante the Great” segment if you can. And finally, I caught up with Halloween Ends. I’m definitely the lone horse here at Nine Circles in that I actually enjoyed it.

As always you can read the full reviews over at Cinema Dual. In the meantime, smoke ’em if you got ’em…

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Blood Red: Hooptober 9.0: Week Five

Week five and the weariness is beginning to set in. Thank goodness I found a couple of gems in the films covered this week. Unfortunately, the new reboot of Hellraiser isn’t one of them, as the film despite some great Cenobites drags like a limp dog for 3/4 of its runtime. That being said, it’s still a better ride than the extremely lo-fi 70s science fiction horror of The Alpha Incident, which I was only able to watch on YouTube. Things get infinitely better from there, with The Snake Girl and the Silver-Haired Woman giving off some serious giallo vibes courtesy of the guy behind all the Gamera monster films. Then we tackle the requisite Tobe Hooper film with his massive homage to Hammer and Quatermass with the bonkers (in the best possible way ) Lifeforce before really coming down to Earth with the completely inert remake of Firestarter.

As always you can read the full reviews over at Cinema Dual. In the meantime, smoke ’em if you got ’em…

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