CANTO: Black Sabbath’s drug budget and even more Danzig drama!


Rushing through these because I have a soccer game to get to! Yes, I am actually doing something athletic. No, I am not excited about.

It’s heavy. Or so I’ve been told. I haven’t listened to it.

“Ein Bier… bitte.”
– Corey

Monday Merriment: Metal in Inappropriate Places


Bleh, Monday. And not just any Monday, but the first Monday back at work after a week off for the holidays. The struggle couldn’t be much realer if it tried right now. Fortunately, we’ve found a little Merriment to ease that headache. Check out this week’s edition—the YouTube video “Metal in Inappropriate Places”—after the jump:

Continue reading

Quickies: That gosh-darn Lord Mantis, always crossing lines. Also, Spotify things!

That time of day, so let’s not waste any time. Here are today’s Quickies–let’s see what we’ve missed in the metal world, shall we?

  • So Lord Mantis is at it again–this time with an apparently SUPER NSFW video for “Possession Prayer” that I didn’t watch, because I’ve, you know, been at work all day. Go forward at your own risk here, folks.
  • Since 2014’s about to wrap up, Spotify’s back with its Year in Music feature. As always, they throw together all kinds of analytics on your listening habits over the past year, but this year they’ve added a kind-of-cool feature called “Play it Forward,” which recommends songs for you to check out based on what you dug this year. Wanna see mine? Of course you do.
None of this is any percent surprising.
None of this is any percent surprising.

The dude’s got chops. ‘Nuff said. Anyway, that’ll do it for tonight. Check back tomorrow for Episode 31!


Live. Love. Plow. Horns Up.

Monday Merriment: The Worst Heavy Metal Cover of All Time

No, really–trust me. It’s the worst. I’m going to keep this short and sweet, because I’m a bit slammed at the real job–some of you may already be familiar, but for this week’s edition of Monday Merriment, check out this attempt at a cover of Iron Maiden’s “Aces High”

And instantly, the name “Chule” was entered into both the books of both metal and internet legend. And it was good/bad. Mostly bad. Seriously, I’ve heard animals in labor that were less corrosive to my ears than his, erm…wail. Kudos to the friend recording his performance on the right hand side of the video screen, for somehow managing to keep a straight face–or at least managing to keep his laughter relatively contained. A positively zen-like performance on his part.

Anyway, that’ll do it. Check back later on for Quickies!


Live. Love. Plow. Horns Up.In

Monday Merriment: Devin Townsend’s “Meatball”

So remember that part about how Devin Townsend is my favorite human? Of course you do. Well this week’s edition of Monday Merriment should help explain why. We’re going to revisit an old video that our lord and savior put together back when his YouTube channel (not just its URL!) was still called “PoopyNuggeteer.” The video in question? The legendary “Meatball.” You’ll be hard pressed not to die laughing:

Now unfortunately, the video’s been taken down from Devin’s official YouTube channel, but thankfully–the Internet being as resourceful as it is–some good soul named kurtleplae has re-graced us with its presence. I’m not sure of the exact timing of this thing’s original release, what with the original video and its time-stamp having been deleted and all, but if I remember correctly, I believe it was right around the time of the similarly ridiculous “Telescopes are Gay,” so around 5-6 years ago? Definitely peak “weird Devin” days, which are always nice to track back to every now and again.

There’s just something so terrifying about an otherwise innocuous stunt like “taping googly eyes to your chin and filming it” that Devin channels perfectly here. I legitimately had a nightmare about one of the “Meatball” characters at one point. And while he does continue to occasionally explore his quirky side–take the “Lucky Animals” video, for example–it’s been a while since we got anything as chaotically ridiculous as this. And bear in mind: this still came to us AFTER Devin had quit drugs and drinking, folks. The dude is otherworldly sometimes. Or all the time. Yeah, let’s go with “all the time” here.

Anyway, that’ll do it. Get merry, and check back later on for our Quickies!


Live. Love. Plow. Horns Up.