FRIDAY AT LAST. I’m excited for this. I don’t know about you lot, but for me, this was one of those weeks that both went by really quickly and drained the hell out of me. As a result, you’ll notice that I couldn’t get Episode 14 online today–that’ll come tomorrow morning, along with this week’s Dump. (No, not that kind…but okay, maybe I will have one of that kind, too, though.) Anyway, before I start making even less sense than I already am, it’s time for Quickies! Here’s what we missed today:

• Stoner-doom legends Sleep are back with their first new song since Corey and I were in elementary school. Stop reading and listen to this mother.
• Some guy named Sven apparently doesn’t like Ghost too much and thus has started a petition to get the band to break up. Why? Because “metal purism” and butthurt (LOTS of butthurt), probably.
• Looks like Tim Lambesis is going to be serving his full prison sentence. If he thought the “but guys, ‘roid rage!” defense would actually work in reducing his sentence, I’m guessing ‘roids aren’t the only drugs he’s on.
• Tombs has launched its own beer and coffee brands. Better run and get some, before Corey buys up literally all of both.
• And finally, Slipknot’s back with another confusing attempt to, ostensibly, promote its upcoming new album. Check it out below:

The bad news? You can gather exactly NOTHING from that clip. The good news? It’s only 15 seconds long. And with that, I’m off to pass out. Because I’m old and my brain is turned off for now. Check back tomorrow for Episode 14!

-Dan

Live. Love. Plow. Horns Up.