Hey! I’m back! And I couldn’t be more apathetic about it. Seriously, I have a lot to do that doesn’t involve appeasing you cretins, so I’m gonna get right into it.

• Nergal is opening a bar! And a second barber shop! Both in Poland. Talk about a busy human being… he is human, right? Why can’t we have cool Negal-based things in America?
• Record Store Day is loved by some, hated by others, and an excuse to buy more records for me. Regardless of all that, heavy metal had a pretty decent showing this past Saturday.
• This is a hilarious situation from Record Store Day. A number of people who attempted to purchase the most recent U2 album (for some fucking reason), ended up with Tool’s Opiate. If only they new how lucky they were… U2 is terrible.
• In today’s news that isn’t news, apparently Kerry King almost made a solo album. He didn’t. Which is something we can all be thankful for.
• Finally, some pretty awesome news from Monolord, as Vænir is now available as a full stream. The album officially drops on April 28th.