First, I must thank the Nine Circles of hell for giving me this opportunity, or forum rather, to express my undying servitude and love for Satan. Not only is Satan my boss, he is also a dear, dear friend. And with those words of gratitude, I move on to my column.

Another work week has been notched into the books for you pathetic, stinking mortals. You are now one week closer to death and one week closer to the torturous hell that is my lair here in Carcosa, Hell. I will not ruin all the surprises, but suffice it to say that your torture will involve the removal of skin and other vital organs while you remain alive enough to feel pain. So prepare yourself for this occurrence. Burn your body to create calluses as a guard against my endless torture.

I am told that music should be recommended, so I will leave you with a track that I am most fond of. Here is Bölzer with “Entranced by the Wolfshook.”

“Sermon of the crooked cross, the pulpits rock with death.”

Hail Satan, my Lord and Savior,
-Ritual Grim