It’s the most woooonderful time of the yearrrrr.

Yes, my friends, September is upon us. The air is crisper. The leaves are changing. The Märzen is starting to flow. I couldn’t be happier. But what’s this, a Sunday? Absolutely! Let’s disregard the fact that it’s technically a Saturday as I write this, and instead I’ll present this question: What better way to ring in this latest Suck-My-Wienerschnitzel-Monday (SMWM) than with a liter (or multiple liters!) of the glorious nectar this season has already brought us? I know, I know. Oktoberfest isn’t quite here yet. But, fuck it. If Halloween decorations are already out, I feel no guilt nor shame for starting the party early. To cap off this weekend, let’s enjoy Pioneers of Alcohol, the debut from Drunkelweizen – and yes it’s exactly what you expect it to be – with Opa’s Oktoberfest Lager from Moat Mountain Brewing Company. Let it begin!

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The Tunes: Drunkelweizen – Pioneers of Alcohol

Alright, where do I even start here? Everywhere? Is that possible? The artwork… A+. The font choices… somehow also A+. The frog specifically… A+++. As far as aesthetics go, I can’t give the Pacific Northwest project that is Drunkelweizen anything but the highest marks. I’m barely into “Robinhood of Moonshine”, the second but kinda really first track on Pioneers of Alcohol and this is already everything I wanted it to be and more. Completely over-the-top booze-themed folk metal: activated. I will say, the tempo is surprisingly mid, but it works in the sense that it kind of let’s this thing, uh, settle in. Is that necessary? Dear Satan, no. When I reach for something called “drunken folk metal” I don’t need a growing period. Open the damn taps and throw me under. Full fucking send. But it’s cool. It still works. More attention is afforded on the vocals and lyrics, which I do find endless entertainment in, as well as the amusingly pronounced instrumental interludes that fall alongside lines like “Buried in rum! / Sucking the monkey”, which are just glorious. I really don’t have much more to say on this. I’m drafting this on a Saturday afternoon, and I spent a large portion of this afternoon enjoying the release of my favorite brewery’s festbier (very much not the one featured below), so at this point I am singing along with “I’d like to sit by a lake of beer, where everyone will dance and drink their fill with me” with the utmost enthusiasm. And that’s all I really need in life right now. So be it with a full stein. Or glass. Or horn. Or whatever vessel you choose… this album will take your party to another level. But! In kind, this is also incredibly dumb. So, so perfectly dumb. I’ll leave you with the wise words that close out the album: “Beer, beer, beer, beer. Folk. Metal. Folk metal. Folk Metal Lobster.”

Fucking poetry, man.

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The Booze: Moat Mountain’s Opa’s Oktoberfest Lager

I’m fortunate to be an area where there are numerous quality oktoberfest-adjacent release offerings, and the one from Moat is certainly in that category. While not necessarily all that close to the top of my list, Opa’s is still a strong take on the style all the same. It’s dark and malty, but still has a nice dry, clean finish that makes it really hard to put down. Hell, this mug held two 16 ounces cans as of the start of this writing and it’s already empty! There’s no unwanted haze and it has just the right amount of roastiness to it. Based in North Conway, on the other side of the White Mountains I call home, Moat isn’t a place I visit all that frequently. It’s out of the way, yes, but it also tends to be a shitshow during the high tourism seasons (which is, well, most of the year). Justified though, for as good as their beer is the food is even better. Fortunately, they distribute well and you can find many of their flagship beers pretty much anywhere locally, specifically their lagers, pilsners, etc. I’ve noticed a new focus and appreciation for these clean beers, which I’ll take a moment to acknowledge. While I appreciate the hazy stuff as much as the next person, it gets to a point where I can’t differentiate one from another, nor how they all absolutely wreck my insides. Moat is one of those breweries I can thank for making lagers popular again. And like… good lagers. I think you all know what I mean by that. So on that note I’ll wrap this up, raise my vessel, and offer a “g’suffa!” to all who celebrate.

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Have a great week ahead, everyone! Satan knows I have a big one coming up. The next time you hear from me in this particular column space it’s gonna be a little different.

“Ein Bier… bitte.”
– cmb