Is our title perhaps a bit self-serving? Yes. But it’s also more news-worthy than anything that happened today, so you’ll just have to deal. Anyway, it’s a weekend, so let’s not waste any more time than we need to here, folks! Here are today’s Quickies–let’s see if we’ve missed anything in the world of metal, shall we?

• Without the festering ball of mediocrity we call “Slayer” in his life, Dave Lombardo’s got a bit more time on his hands–more time for things like, oh, I don’t know…helping out with the score for Insidious 3. I don’t really have anything to say about this, but the Photoshopped image at the beginning of the post is pretty chuckle-worthy.
• Speaking of festering balls of mediocrity, Ministry announced their new touring lineup. Because, yes, for some reason, Ministry is still touring.
• The guys in Black Crown Initiate have launched an IndieGogo campaign to help finance a new touring van. Reasons you should donate: the perks include all kinds of unique merch, Skype lessons, and even lifetime admission to all of the band’s future U.S. and Canadian shows. Oh, and the band is kickass. That’s a pretty good reason, too.
• I don’t really know what the hell Miss Fortune is. From the name alone, I’m about 95% sure it’s the kind of band I wouldn’t like. But oh well, apparently their vocalist was charged with domestic violence and has now had those charges dropped. Whatever.
• Skindred 1, Kim Kardashian zip. Okay, more like 0.5 to zip. Had to subtract points because of male full-backal nudity.
• And finally, Bloodbath’s out with a new video for “Church of Vastitas.” Check it out here:

That’ll about do it. Enjoy the weekend and we’ll see you back here on Monday!

-Dan

Live. Love. Plow. Horns Up.