Happy Friday the 13th to all who celebrate.  What a perfect day to tell you about some Satanic and horror drenched goodies, so let us drink from the cup of heresy.  This week’s offerings:  Satanic Tea Co‘s A Celestial Beating and Satanic Tea Co’s Human Tea.

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The Tunes:  Satanic Tea Co — A Celestial Beating

Satanic Tea Co originally launched in 2017 as a retailer.  In 2022 they broke down the doors entering the metal scene, releasing a single that caught a lot of attention.  Since then, they have released a few more singles including “Human Tea,” which features Cryptopsy, a band they have released a tea blend with in the past, and now an EP.  A Celestial Beating consists of six quick and to the point death metal tracks with a total runtime of about fifteen minutes.  The sound is gritty and raw with some ambient moments containing spoken word surrounding ominous religious and cult themes.  The overall feel is that of a basement or garage small town death metal band and it is awesome. This release and all the tracks Satanic Tea Co have released thus far are good filthy fun and not to be missed.  The EP opens with some riffs and static spoken word centering around an apocalyptic story.  Death growls soon ensue and the riffs are brought to the forefront.  This mostly instrumental track sets the tone and builds anticipation for the rest of A Celestial Beating.  The remaining pieces bring an onslaught of sinisterness with thunderous drumming, aggressive tremolo picking, guttural growls, and plenty of spooks.  I hope that Satanic Tea Co continues to release music (as well as teas) and collaborate with other artists.  I have my fingers crossed for a future full length release and maybe a tour—imagine merch tables full of artisanal teas.  I have followed this organization prior to their musical debut and enjoy their social media postings and various tea and coffee releases.  They bring a lot of joy with their macabre offerings and I am eager to see what they create next.

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The Beverage:   Satanic Tea Co — Human Tea

Yes, I do have a tea towel that says “Live Well Laugh Often Hail Satan.” 

Human Tea is a newer release from the brand that has a musical counterpart.  If you can believe it, Human Tea is a cute little sleepy time blend.  Somewhat fitting if bedtime tea makes you think of a horrifically induced eternal type of slumber, but maybe a bit surprising if bedtime tea makes you think of a little bear in a nightgown.  Either way, I am loving this—fitting or a delightful juxtaposition.  This chamomile tea is wrapped in compostable tea bags which is an awesome choice and something new for Satanic Tea Co as their other teas are loose leaf.  I definitely enjoy the ease of this form and again the overall vibe and choice here as humans are also compostable and could be fashioned into bags a la Ed Gein.  Bring on the horrors and the pleasant sleep.  The taste is soothing and while the tea does not have an exotic blend of flavors like other releases from Satanic Tea Co, it is a perfect chamomile.

Another tea the brand recently released with a musical counterpart is Septic Savior.  I reached for the Human Tea today as I am nearing my bedtime, but Septic Savior is one I will enjoy in the morning.  It is made from an English breakfast blend with smoked lapsang, coconut, and espresso beans.  Satanic Tea Co is definitely not lacking in creativity and each tea they release is stellar and an intriguing blend of flavors.  I have not encountered a tea from the brand that I haven’t enjoyed and my cabinet is full of Satanic Tea Co offerings.  Perfectly paired with the corresponding tunes, Satanic Tea Co cannot miss.    

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Cheers and blessed be,

— Angela