For once I am not in a horrible mood. I know that normally I would demean you for being pathetic mortals unable to keep your own shit from spilling out of your disgusting, thinly-skinned sacks but I’m just so happy today. Recently, there have been some changes down here in hell and I have been the recipient of a very honorable promotion. If you have checked out my bio page lately (or viewed our About page), you might notice that I am now Death with a big ‘D.’

Being Death has many responsibilities. While you all may assume it’s merely wandering the earth poking at mortals who then drop dead, it’s not. The competition down here was tough. There were many other demons and infernal servants of the underlord that were deserving of the title. In the end it was my ingenuity and ability to create especially painful, elongated and inventive deaths that won me the post. So now there is pressure on me to keep up this charade of exceptionally interesting deaths.

I guess that means that my happiness will lead to even more eternal suffering upon your earth as I roam the battlefields laughing as you all murder each other in service of your false god(s). At any rate, it’s Friday for you followers of the Roman Calendar (the calendar that only accounts for the sun) and that means it’s time for another Satan approved metal selection. Disterror – “Catharsis.”

Hail Satan,

– Ritual Grim