Profile: Black Metal Cats

black metal cats

If you’re a human being that is physically and mentally alive and you use Twitter you are no doubt familiar with Black Metal Cats. We can all admit that metal is cheesy, right? There are few better representations of that campiness than Black Metal Cats. Shrouded in mystery we here at Nine Circles reached out to the Twitter account and lo and behold we received a response. Like two peas in a metal pod we struck up a relationship that blossomed into a conversation that led to a profile. So, buckle up for this exclusive interview with Black Metal Cats.

First off: why cats?

Well it couldn’t be black metal dogs, could it? Dogs are too fucking happy all the time. Plus, let’s be honest, dogs smell bad.   

How did you first get into pairing metal music with cats and have you achieved the level of success that you always hoped to achieve?

I started mucking around with the idea in October last year. It was the ISIS Karaoke account that gave me the image/lyrics template. I figured a Venn diagram of metal and cat lovers would be close to a perfect circle, so there’d be people who might like it. Still, I was pretty surprised by how quickly my evil horde of cats gained a loyal following. I’m glad it seems to give people a little joy.

No one knows your real identity. So can you tell us a little bit about yourself?

I’m Australian, male, and 34. That’s all ya getting.

It seems that now everyone has a passion for some cause and that those people are very open about displaying their passions. This is probably a very, very good (and progressive) thing socially. What are some of the most important issues (social/political/humorous/etc.) for you and how do you insert those issues into your work? 

I’m a bit of a lefty, so I have difficulty with the white nationalist bullshit of guys like like Rob Darken and Varg Vikernes. It’s problematic, as they say, but I do still use their lyrics here and there. It’s tempting to share my opinions and stuff purely because there’s an audience there and I’m not used to having one, but I know people are following the account for metal and cats, not for what I think about the benefits of single-payer or the refugee crisis.

What, or who, got you into metal and how old were you? Do you play any instruments or are all your efforts poured directly into your lovely feline musings?

I got into metal at about 15. It’s embarrassing now, but I think I bought a Korn record. My parents had split up, I was a quiet kid, bullied a bit, and listening to heavy music made me feel kind of empowered. Strictly speaking, though, I don’t think I qualified as a metal head. Later I became a goth, dyed my hair black, make-up, androgyny, spikes, all that shit. I still liked heavy music but it was more industrial––Leæther Strip, Numb, that type of stuff. I never learned an instrument as a kid, but I recently bought a trumpet because I’ve wanted to play jazz for ages. I fucking stink. It’s gonna be like a 10-to-15 year project.

What’s the stickiest you, or one of your cats, have ever been?

I think I’ll just leave this one blank. (Editorial Note: Feel free to make up a nice story here. You can only imagine what happens when you deal with this many cats.)

How many cats do you personally own, what are their names and which of them is the most metal?

I have one cat, a tabby who’s about eight. He belonged to an ex-housemate and when she took off overseas I kind of adopted him. He was a vicious hunter when he was younger, a real killer. We used to joke that kept animal heads on little sticks in the backyard to warn others.

Do you have a favorite genre of metal? Do you have a favorite breed of cat? What’s the best season for cats and metal?

My Dying Bride’s As the Flower Withers spent a lot of time in my Discman, as did Strapping Young Lad’s City and Tool’s Ænima, but they’re all really different genres. I never listened to much black metal to be honest, but the stories I’d read in Terrorizer fascinated me. The thought of face-painted lunatics running around the forest worshipping the devil and burning churches seemed quite exciting from my suburban bedroom. I actually went to Norway last year and saw the fjords and the mountains and the forests for myself. It’s an unbelievably beautiful place. I didn’t see a single bullet belt, though, which was a little disappointing.

Norwegian forest cats are badass, and Abyssinians are really handsome. Pallas’s cats crack me up because they’re just so weird and expressive. Season? The long, dark, frozen, northern winter, of course.

Finally, what are some of you favorite albums to listen to currently? 

Lately I keep going back to Talking Heads: 77 by Talking Heads, and Reading, Writing & Arithmetic by the Sundays. Lots of jazz. Some Lee Hazlewood. Other than that, I’m usually excavating the rotting bowels of YouTube for obscure black metal bands. If you like your black metal really kvlt, try Mütiilation’s Vampires of Black Imperial Blood.

Thanks to Black Metal Cats for taking time out of his busy tweeting schedule to sit down and chat with us.

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