So, this is fun. You’re actually reading Draft No. 2 of this post, because thanks to a faulty plug connection, my laptop just turned off on me about 80% through my first draft — a draft that WordPress had, for whatever reason, failed to auto-save at any point. So, said entire draft got wiped. Technology is just wonderful, isn’t it. Anyway, here are our album art highlights for this week:
Hatriot — From Days Unto Darkness
“Possessed pope sitting on throne of corpses” is pretty on-brand artwork for a contemporary thrash band. (Particularly one that used to include Exodus singer Steve Souza.) And okay, said possessed pope’s expression borders perhaps a bit too closely on “constipation,” but overall I’m pretty onboard with this piece. Honestly, most of why I included it is because I initially mispronounced it as “hat riot,” which makes me chuckle given the presence of a mitre in the image. (I’m a simple man with simple needs.)
VHS — We’re Gonna Need Some Bigger Riffs
Hey, guys, they made a Jaws joke! Get it? Either way, I’m pretty okay with this artwork. The human prey looks appropriately terrified. Whatever creature is riding atop the shark — maybe an undead Aquaman, given his control of the seabeast — is sporting a sweet, Warlock-looking guitar. Plus, the shark has a freaking gazoonga of a nose on the end of his face. (Is gazoonga a word? If not, I’m gonna create it, and it means “exactly this shark’s fucking face.” I gotcha, Webster.)
Vesication — Total Fecall
Total Fe… wait a minute…
Ah, okay. These guys are on HPGD. All makes sense now. Carry on!
Triguna — Candied Lemons
Jokes aside, I genuinely love the color palette in this cover. There are colors here that I’d venture, probably, 75% of bands we cover here at Nine Circles have never even seen before. Jokes not-aside, there are literal candied lemons in this scene. And they are both a) enormous, and b) sandwiched in a valley between two mountains. You know, typical candied lemon stuff.
Desert — Fortune Favors the Brave
First off, don’t fuck around with that Desert logo. The spikes on that thing look like they were plucked straight off a rosebush. Secondly, uh…what exactly is going on in this image? A bunch of different soldiers with seemingly competing ideologies, teaming up against…a de-winged version of Pit from Kid Icarus? I feel like I’ve gotta be missing something…
Gruulvoqh — The Eternal Traveller
I have so many questions. First, what on Earth is a “gruulvoqh”? Second, this traveller…what kind of voyage did he go on that got his head replaced with a second torso? Is that second torso sentient? How does any of this work? Why is everything so washed-out looking? Someone help me here.
Anyway, that will — finally — do it for this week. Stay tuned for more artwork ridiculousness next time out!