Well, hello! It’s been a minute. July was about two weeks gone before I realized, “oh shit, I didn’t do a Cursed Imagery post for June!” (Gotta love having the most committed bloggers on board in the face of the, just… utter disintegration of the Internet we used to love, amirite?)
In any case, we’re back with a mammoth, two-month recap. My friends, it gives me great pleasure — or, alternately, none at all — to inform you: the bands have been making some choices with their album artwork this summer. If you were hoping for an overloaded double-post to make amends for last month’s absence, well… the bands have absolutely delivered for you. We’re gonna do twelve picks from each month, because we just have that many — and then some! — from which to choose. (Seriously, it’s been a stacked summer.)
So, why don’t we jump in? Here are the best/worst pieces of album artwork from June and July 2025:
—
JUNE
I think probably the hallmark, uh… “achievement“(?) of June was that it brought back our favorite game, ADVENTURES WITH FONTS, for another round. Let’s take a look at how that played out, shall we?
—
Crawl — No Way Out
The last time Crawl put an album out, they used Papyrus font. So, against all odds, this Creed cosplay-ass font actually represents… an improvement?
…yeesh
—
Leatherneck — Lethargy
Scribbling your own made-up band logos in the margins of your high school notebooks is one thing. Thinking those scribbled, made-up logos are remotely “ready for prime time” is another thing entirely.
—
Magnus Wakander — Inferno
Imagine choosing this awesome, Clair Obscur: Expedition 33-ass picture as your album cover, and then so utterly phoning in the artist and title font. SMH.
—
Quitting Heaven — I Am Rage
A bigger cognitive dissonance between cover image and font choice, there has never been.
—
Neutral Eyes — Medusa Touch
The stunner shade-looking font for the band’s name, I can forgive. I don’t love it, but whatever.
The blatantly Word Art font they chose for the album title? RIGHT TO JAIL.
—
Wizzo — Place of the Chosen Lords
Wizzo’s font choice was so, uh… something… that, I swear, I completely missed the boobs at first.
—
Gozu — Colossus of Density
Does “not even deigning to spell out the artist name or album title on your cover” qualify as a font choice?
Okay, probably not, but dammit… your boy has a narrative to maintain!
—
Daedric Chamber — Enslaved Unto the Chasm
I’m sorry, y’all, but I just can’t stop chuckling at this thing. This feels like someone’s little sister got into their corpse paint and decided to take the piss.
—
Jalapeña — Virus
Nobody: …
Absolutely no one: …
Jalapeña: What if Pickle Rick and Plankton had a baby?
—
Grand Head — Nobody Owes Us a God Damn Thing
Yeah! You tell ‘em, Grand Head! Now go home and get some rest, that Mumps won’t cure itself.
—
Draugveil — Cruel World of Dreams and Fears
Is this AI? Is it legit? I don’t have enough information to say. What I do have enough information to say is: it’s fuckin’ stupid.
—
Pigworm — Woodvegas
THIS, on the other hand… if this Dennis Rodman bestiality wet dream isn’t AI, I will eat my own shoes.
—
JULY
When compared to June, July wasn’t quite as heavy on the font choice mishaps. Oh, there were definitely still some bands that made, just… baffling decisions on that front, but if anything, July was notable for the diversity of kinds of badness on display. Let’s take a peek!
—
Napalm — Rising Pressure
Aww, I remember my first time holding a pen, too.
—
Ismael Gania, Jr. — Beyond Carnivorous
DUDE. Why even bother having cover art if you’re just gonna drop generic title font overtop the whole thing?
—
Anger Machine — Human Error
Truly an album cover for our stupid, stupid times.
—
Apegod — Ignis Fatuus: Unlawful Jungle Emissions
Unfortunately, “Oooooh, AK-47!” doesn’t have quite the same ring as “Oooooh, BANANA!”
—
Exkil — Violence Prevails
It can’t be a good omen for this album, when the concept of its cover art is Lady Justice — in her final act, as she’s literally about to be devoured by a giant snake — serving up court papers for, uh… the album’s songs.
—
Kill Everything — Headless Cum Dumpster
I’ma let you guys in on a secret. An album being picked for Cursed Imagery ultimately comes down to one question: would you be okay with guests seeing the vinyl on display in your house?
Kill Everything was a no-brainer here.
—
Stray — In the Mouth of Sheol
Welp, there goes my sleep for the next month. Thanks, Stray!
—
Psycho Mosher — Trapped Into the Madness Vortex
Sure, let’s give a raging bro a whole cyclone full of Mountain Dew. What could go wrong?
—
Stoergeroisch — Depression bleibt für immer
There’s also something low-key deeply unsettling about this one, too. Oh well. Make that two months of no sleep, I guess.
—
Sulak — Dark Waters
It’s a little hard to take an album titled Dark Waters entirely seriously when it’s got this little guy gracing its cover, but also AWWW LOOKIT THE LITTLE GUY!!!
—
Metabolica — Círculo de Fúria
The thing I like about this one is that these guys are all supposed to be getting to rage at one another, but if you look closely… I’m not sure any one of them is actually looking at anyone else?
—
Hellmoat — Odes of Exilation
Saving easily my favorite for last. I cannot adequately convey just how much I love the look of sheer regret and terror on our friend, The Reaper’s, face here. It’s GOB Bluth’s “I’ve made a huge mistake” to the tenth power, and I’m fully here for it.
—
And that — 24 albums and nearly 1000 words later — will do it! Hope you enjoyed our super-sized make-good for missing last month’s post. This blogger’s questionable memory willing, we’ll be back this time next month for the Best/Worst album art picks from August. Until then…
Keep it heavy,
—Dan
Leave a Reply