Sunday Side-Splitter: The Black Satans

It’s Sunday, so like me, you’re probably hungover and contemplating the perks and costs of never drinking again, only to eventually say sod all that and pound back a six pack before your next show. (Problem? What’s that?) Fortunately, there are cures for moments like these: bacon, eggs, and a new edition of Sunday Side-Splitter. And in the case of the latter, this week’s is a real gem.

This week, we’re going to take a look at some true Norwegian black metal from Finland. (Their words, not mine) I’m talking, of course, about the parody band, The Black Satans.


Now then, very little is actually known about the Black Satans. According to the band’s Facebook page, “the band formed in 2004 on a cruise ship, despite already have released there first album, Dyster Svart Mørke, in 1994,” and counts a musician called “Masturbørg” among their ranks. But really, this hilarity comes second to the band’s music videos, of which there are currently three. They are:

“The Mutilation of Christ”

“The Satanic Darkness”

Actual “About” Section for this Video: “This latest music video made by The Black Satans was shot in the mountains of wintery Norway during the darkest time of the year, except that it was in Finland and in midsummer. Nevertheless this is the evilest and blackest black metal music video ever made by The Black Satans.”

“The Satan of Hell”

Watch these. Watch them again. Then rack your brains trying to remember all of the hilarious black metal-related shit you’ve seen in your lives. But rack as you might, I’m pretty sure you’ll never have come across an image as hilarious as this:

Screen Shot 2014-05-18 at 11.28.28 AM

So there you have it, folks–this week’s Sunday Side-Splitter is the Black Satans. Enjoy your bacon, eggs, and true Norwegian black metal from Finland.


Live. Love. Plow. Horns Up.

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