Global Destruction of the Human Race Imminent
Breaking: we are fucking awesome. everybody else is a huge pile of shit
Earth, Andromeda Galaxy: Mass murders and suicides commence today at 2PM EST at…well…everywhere around the entire fucking globe as every single person simultaneously realized how worthless their shitty, pathetic life is.
Remaining governments have banded together and are utilizing massive bulldozers to sweep the literally millions of bodies into piles which are then being unceremoniously set ablaze. Some said the stench was reaching altitudes of 25,000 meters. Survivors, if any, are urged to stay inside and consume the fleshy, bloody remains of the deceased until a resistance can be organized. Tune all emergency radios to frequency 666.66 kHz USB.
We here at Nine Circles are ready to join the party. Burn Everyone. Burn Everything. We will be waiting to greet you all on the other side of the fiery gates. Sickle in hand.