Welcome back, friends! Another month (nearly) gone, and… wait a minute… “(nearly)”? Your boy’s actually ahead of schedule with a post? Get the fuck out. Wow. Miracles do happen!
Anyway, it’s Cursed Imagery time once more, and holy hell did bad album art have a month. May 2025 was, once again, completely stacked. By my count, this month’s “shortlist” was 18 albums, and the long list was some 30-strong — out of roughly 600 albums to have been released this month. (Ya want more mathage? Five percent of the May’s albums had crap-enough album covers to have been considered for our list at one point or another. That’s nuts!)
But, as per uzh, we’ve whittled even the shortlist down to just nine final selections, and boy, are they some good/bad ones. So let’s not waste any more time, shall we? Hit the jump and have a peek…
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Immortalectomy – Prison Planet 7
Like: All the neon
Dislike: This is so clearly a low-res image scaled up well past the point it should have been. You can literally see the pixelation happening. Ugh.
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Spume – Spider Birth Reingurgitation
If Spume raided the cutting room floors of Metalocalypse and Aaah!! Real Monsters and decided to turn that salvaged IP into an album cover, it’d be this.
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Face the Wall – Give Us the Fucking Beer
Love it when people try and do a science while totally sloshed. These three are gonna have cushy U.S. government jobs before you know it.
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Henry – Minimal Metal 2: The Funeral
Minimal Metal, meet Minimal Effort.
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Malum Veneficus – Castyng Forth from th’ Contemplative Sphere with Malicious Incantations ov Garlic and Foul Cabbage
With a title like that, who needs artwork? Not Malum Veneficus, clearly.
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Deep Agony – Eternal Internal
MINIMAL EFFORT 2: DEEP AGONY
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Craned Neck – Circlejerk Eternal
TIL trains can bleed.
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503 Bad Gateway – Lightning
That’s it. That’s the cover.
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Bangover – Hibernation Devastation
Fucking YES. Find me a more perfect post closer. Gnarly logo, bear-wielding-a-chainsaw… this has freaking everything and I love it to death.
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That’ll do it for this month’s edition! You know what to do from here: check back this time next month for our (hopefully just-as-stacked) recap of best/worst covers from June. But until then…
Keep it heavy,
–Dan
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