Somehow, we’re coming up on three straight months of this column, which just…boggles my mind. This thing already eclipsed by Blog Segment Consistency record, like, two months ago. When the gift is ridiculous album covers, the metal world keeps on giving, I guess. Anyway, we’ve got a packed edition for you this week, so let’s jump in!
Equilibrium — Renegades
Goddammit, Equilibrium, why’d you have to go and do this. Even setting aside my issues with the band’s new musical direction — and that’s almost a necessity here, because I could fill a book with them, and neither you nor me need that — like… what the hell? What’s this tattoo-culture-inspired artwork even supposed to mean? What’s this bland-ass logo text, and where did the old logo — legit one of my favorite designs in the folk-metal genre — get tossed away to? Just… goddammit.
Ancestral Shadows — Wolven Mysteries of Ancient Lore
With apologies to The Social Network… “You know what’s cool? Blue cover black metal. You know what’s even cooler? Purple cover black metal.”
The Black Wizards — Reflections
There’s a giant mushroom in the upper left portion of Reflections‘ central… eyeball? donut? thing? But really, there’s a giant mushroom in the whole thing — straight through from conception to execution. For a band called The Black Wizards, the use of color sure is something here. Now, pardon me, I’m gonna go have some really fucked up dreams after I finish writing this post.
Norikum — Ad Nauseum
So, we here in the metal world see some pretty gruesome stuff in our album art. It’s par for the course. We’re used to it. This thing, though? This has got to be one of the most unsettling images I’ve ever seen on an album cover. The concept, the execution, just…everything about this makes me do a full-body shiver. Well done, I guess?
Memoir 414 — Domination
I don’t know that I dislike the cover of Domination. It’s a little imbalanced perhaps — loads going on in the bottom half, and relatively little up top. I don’t have any idea what the concept is supposed to represent. And, okay, it feels kind of like a Costco-brand John Baizley piece. But still…don’t hate it!
Freedom Call — M.E.T.A.L.
You guys don’t think this is a little too on the nose, do you? No? Not even maybe a little bit? Oh, Freedom Call. It must be nice to hit the “keep gettin’ them checks” stage of your career as a power metal band. Remember when these guys had genuinely cool album covers? How things change. On their last two full-lengths, we’ve gotten Jacked-Lemmy and now this lol-fest. I’d say “never change,” but no, I actually want the opposite of that to happen. PLEASE CHANGE. CHANGE, DAMMIT. CHAAAAAAAAAANGE.
Anyway, that’ll do it for this week! Check back this time next week to see if I can keep the streak alive! And to, you know… laugh at some album covers.