It’s about 8 hours before this post is supposed to publish, and I’m only just now getting started. I’m also one day removed from a five-shift-in-six-days hell stretch at work, each night of which felt like a full moon was having a little full moon baby in front of our eyes. What’s all this mean?
Well, for starters, I’m juuuust about out of fucks to give about post introduction content. Secondly, you’ll only be getting quips about five albums this week. Though, that’s not entirely down to work fatigue. There were a buttload of albums coming out this week, but oddly, not that many ridiculous covers. So, let’s take what’s been given to us and roll with it!
Vae Victis — Deadhead Hurricane
Man, I didn’t wanna have to criticize an album cover whose central concept was a demon skull taking shape in the middle of a freaking cyclone, but… dammit, said skull looks so. derpy. Remember last week’s post, when I likened the face on Iron Rage’s Cold World Calling to New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning? Welp, this skull looks like his replacement on the Giants, Daniel Jones. #fuckyeahcurrentevents
Edenbridge — On the Other Side
lol, I love the “effort” on this one. For their new single, it looks suspiciously like Austrian symphonic metal quintet Edenbridge posed in the foyer to someone’s apartment and just… hoped the Photoshop filters would take care of the rest? I don’t hate the logo, though, so…at least they’ve got that going for them?
Mystery Blue — 8RED
Speaking of Photoshop filters, though, let’s all take a trip down memory lane and remember back to the first time we ever used Photoshop. Remember how wonky those early projects looked? Liberal use of after-effects, obviously copy-pasted layers, with rough eraser work creating janky edges between them…ring a bell? Kudos to Mystery Blue for helping us hearken back to those simpler days.
White Ward — Love Exchange Failure
So, neat photo here without question. It doesn’t exactly scream “Eastern European, misanthropic black metal,” as White Ward advertises on their Bandcamp page. And it’s just a bit remove from the aesthetic of the band’s last album, Futility Report. But, it is a neat photo!
Michael Schenker Fest — Revelation
Apparently Michael Schenker is Jesus now. Gotta be a tough swallow for his older brother, Scorpions guitarist Rudolf. Guess he’ll just have to settle for being the world’s most freakishly fit 71-year-old.
That’ll do it for this week! Check back this time next week for more album art ridiculousness!